All things know. All things grow.

I can't put together how the person in the picture of my drivers license grew up and became me.


I never realized that I am so detached from my past.

These days, it's unacceptable.

Right now, I am fine being alone. I am self sufficient and I'm finding ways to give my life a semblance of meaning that is not dependant on anyone but myself.

But no, these people hate me if they don't have the opportunity to love me.

I'm sorry, but dependancy is weakness and I really don't feel like being vulnerable right now.

There's something in that feeling where you have a paper due tomorrow morning. You haven't started it but you're not worried. There are bigger things to think about. Bigger things that have no bearing on you right now.

Make yourself believe that the future is only big scary if you make it that way.

So, you'll just have to breathe a little and realize that things are going to happen as they will. It may be a long night but you're just here for the ride.

And at least the weekend has a meaning now.

Nights Like These

I can't sleep because I've got to get up early. This always happens.

But tonight was great. I'm so happy I'm friends with all of these people.
Right now, I'm in some great company.

And in the near future, I'm going on a road trip with Rachel and Charly, exploring all of these really cool spots Rachel knows in Virginia, and then they're dropping me off at Richmond so I can hang out with Hannah for a couple of days!

This is it.

This school year has really been different from every other one I've ever had. For the first time in my life, I've gotten over the what-if? component of my life. I've always second guessed myself, and now that I've kind of gotten over it... it feels strange.

My life at school is completely different from the one I left at the end of last semester. And now that I think of it, every person who was important back then has been pushed back to the peripherals of the day-to-day here at Hood.

Maybe it was because I stopped trying to hold all those relationships together. Maybe it's because they did too.

But life is good. I've met other people. I don't feel like they've replaced the people I used to hold so dearly, but they make me feel content. I don't want to let go of those relationships that were so important to me back then and forget the experiences we had, but I'm just going to remember them for how amazing everything we used to do was. Because things really were great. Maybe we'll become close again one day.

I'm not about cutting ties anymore, but I'm also not about fighting for intimacy that might not be there anymore.

So, I'm leaving myself open to everything.

I have a hall meeting and then I'm going to third floor Meyran to hang out with the people that I think have so much potential to be amazing.